Confidential information for young people, parents, carers and friends
'Im 17 and was abused by my brother, he still lives with me. What help could you give without it going any further to social sevices or my parents.'
It is difficult to say without knowing the full story , things to consider might be , Are you still at risk of harm? Are there younger brothers and sisters in the house?The age of your brother, as he is an abuser he needs help as well if he is young, so that he doesn't continue to abuse other people.If you would like to talk to us ring 01872 262100 or e mail us on help@crasac.co.uk. If you want to talk it through completely anonymously you can ring Childline on 0800 1111. Take care and please get in touch again if you want to.
'i was raped by an ex and also by another man (at seperate times) and have never seeked help for it. i have been diagnosed with vaginismus and depression. i am now with a wonderful man who has been my rock, we are working through my vaginsmus together and he is so patient and understanding. but he suffers with depression and anxiety and recently admitted that although he is strong for me, it eats him up inside and he's so angered at what happened to me. we have talked and decided that counselling - together and seperately- is something that we'd desperately like to try. we live in west cornwall, where can we go or who can we contact to get this? we've both been to see counsellors through our doctors, but feel we need something more specific to sexual abuse. thank you.'
Hello, I would think that going to a RELATE counsellor would help, if you have both had some counselling seperately then as you say seeing a counsellor together would be a good idea.. If you don't have any luck there give us a call on 01872 262100 and we can see what else we may be able to offer you. Take care
'im 15 now and since i was about 12 or 13 my grandad has been sexualy abusing me i think! when no one is home or are in another room he rubs my breasts and plays with them he also touches my private parts. And gives me money . he has recently mensioned about havin sex.im tryin to avoid him but he always seems to be there. now i dont know what to do im worried and scarred i dont know what he will do and i dont want to tell my family cause it will tear them apart . can you help please? :('
Hello , you have been very brave to write to us, it is no wonder that you feel scared and worried, I am very sorry to read about what is happening to you.You say "you think" your grandad is sexually abusing you. Your grandad is sexually abusing you and you need to tell someone so that it can stop.I understand that you say that you don't want to tell your family as it will tear them apart but meanwhile you have to suffer the sexual abuse.If your grandad is mentioning sex then you need to stay away from him. If you want to you could call Childline on 0800 1111 and talk it through with them to help you decide what you are going to do next. You can do this without giving your name and then you have some time to think about what you feel you want to do.The most important person in this is you and you need to keep yourself safe by keeping away from him.You should not have to live with feeling scared , you grandad is in the wrong and needs to be stopped, he may also be abusing other young people.If you decide to tell someone , make sure it is someone you trust and if they don't listen to you then tell someone else. If you are in danger you can always ring the Police.This website is answered once a week, if you want to ring and speak to someone here you will need to leave your number on the answer machine and I will call you back.01872 262100. I hope you get the help you deserve , if there is anything I can do to help please ring on this number. Take care.
'hi i dont no what do to anymore am cracking up i was sexually abused twice by two different people both people i was very close.. its really cutting me up inside my mum nos but my boyfriend doesnt an i keep shoving him away all the time i cant hack it its not his fault but am terrified of men touching me i get scared and back off... can anyone give me advice or been in same siducation? '
I am sorry you are feeling so bad you sound like you could do with speaking to someone about your feelings. I don't know how old you are but if you are under 18 you need to be protected from these people.Do you feel that you could speak to someone else about what has happened to you? You could ring Childline on 0800 1111, or you could go to your Doctor and explain how bad you are feeling.You say that you are scared of men touching you, that is understandable if you have been sexually abused. If you would like some help and live in Cornwall you can arrange to see a counsellor and talk through your feelings.Ring 01872 262100. If you are under 18 we may have to share the information with another agency so that you are protected and safe.These 2 abusers may also be abusing other people.If you decide to tell someone else , make sure they really hear what has happened to you , you deserve to get some help.Take care of yourself
'what happens at the center. im really scared 2 make an appointment cause i dont want 2 talk about what happened.i had a one nite stand to prove 2 myself that i was over it but now i feel even worse. please help me
The Centre offers face to face counselling once a week for an hour . You don't need to go into details about what has happened to you, it is completely up to you what you say and how long you take to say it.Counselling is mainly about talking about your feelings and how they affect you now. If you would like to make an appointment to see a counsellor please ring 01872 262100.
'I Am 14 When I Was About 8 My Uncle Sexualy Abused Me And Has Done Ever Since ..............
Thank you for writing to us, what you wrote has really concerned me and I would like to help you get the help that you are asking for. If you want to e mail me at help@crasac.co.uk or telephone 01872 262100 we will get back to you. I hope to hear from you again soon. Take care.
'i was having sex with my boyfriend when i said to stop he said that it was fine as we hadnt done it for ages i didnt push him away or say anything else is this still classed as rape'
Technically yes this is rape if you asked your boyfriend to stop and he ignored you and carried on.As a consequence of this if you have feelings that you cannot come to terms with then maybe it would be a good idea to talk them through with someone as soon as possible, you can ring 01872 262100.
'hi i was raped 5 years ago ive tried councelling but found it very difficult to talk about so i quit.do you think it would help if i tried again.am i allowed 2 bring a friend in with me'
Yes I think it could be a good idea to try again if you still feel there are things you need to speak about.It would probably be ok to take a friend with you for the first few minutes of the counselling session, but generally we recommend that it is better for people to have counselling on their own.
'I'm 27 and was raped 4yrs ago. I went to councilling and feel ok about it now. I split up with my husband 6 months ago and am now seeing a new man. I'm not sure whether to tell this new guy about what happened to me. On the one hand I dont want to feel ashamed about it so dont want to hide it, but on the other hand I dont want it to rule my life... so why should I have to tell him? I feel like just having to make the decision to tell him or not is bringing up all the bad memories again.
This is a very difficult question,as it depends on your relationship with your new partner, Only you can know whether you can trust this information with him. If you really trust him and your relationship, it could free you up and allow you to be open and honest with each other. Maybe you aren't ready yet and would prefer to wait a little while. There is no direct solution to this, just give yourself time to be sure.
'My husband and I had a halloween party and we all were really drunk. I went into my room to sleep and I woke up naked with my husband and his best friend and now I am 7 months pregnant,. Is that rape?'
You have not said that you know sex took place that evening, were there any signs that it had? Could you have got pregnant on another occasion? In response to your question, whatever the circumstances. if you had sex with someone when you didn't agree to it, then it is Rape. It must be difficult for you trying to come to terms with what happened. Can you talk to your husband about this?
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'why dose it hurt when you get flahs backs'
When you get a flashback it is as if you are re-experiencing the original trauma. This means that you can feel what has happened to you all over again. If the original experience was painful then the flashback will be painful. You don't say whether you mean physical pain (in your body) or psychological pain (in your mind)but it is true for either or both of these. If you are working with a counsellor, flashbacks can be helpful in that you can begin to make some sense of your feelings. They can be very disturbing and frightening and talking about them can make them less frequent and less painful.
'I have been married now for 49 years and have recently (5 months ago) found out that my husband sexually abused one of my three sons approximately 25 years ago. The son, piggie in the middle, is now a grandad. Apparently this abuse went on for about seven years - without my knowledge or my other two sons' knowledge. He did not involve the other two in any way. As a Christian I must forgive him but I find I no longer love him because of this situation, which was a betrayal of my trust. My husband has now reached 70 years of age and I am approaching that age. I would, therefore, like some advice on where to go from here as I do rely upon him for a lot of help.
If you would like to talk this through with someone please ring 01872 262100 there is someone in the office to speak to on a Monday or Tuesday. It is a complicated situation for you, my concerns are whether your husband has or is abusing anybody else and now that there are grandchildren , he may be a risk to them. I am also wondering if your son has some support in all this, he can also ring the number above if he would like to speak to someone.
'so would there be any physical marks?
I assume you mean if you have been raped or sexually abused? There may be severe marks or hardly any at all depending how violent the attack was. If you are needing this information for a project it may be better to e mail me at help@crasac.co.uk if that is ok.
'how does rape or sexual abuse affect the victim both mentally and physically?
There are many different affects that people can suffer from and everyone is different so it is hard to say . If you look on this website there is a section about this that may be of help. To name some of the affects, they can range from drug and alcohol problems, eating disorders, self harming, nightmares and flashbacks, loss of confidence and self esteem, loss of worth, shame and guilt etc. However if you have been raped or sexually abused it does not mean that you will suffer any of these affects.
'I my friends brother when i was 10. I went out with him when i was 13 and moved in with him when i was 14/15. He was 8 years older than me. He cared for me, made me feel safe and secure as my mother would beat me badly, she was an alcoholic. He befriended her and alienated my father. My mother and father did not live together since i was 10. Basically i have since realised that he groomed me. He has sexually abused his step son from another relationship and there are two other kids outside the family that he has abused too but they are now adults. What he has done to his step son and the words he used are the same he used on me when i was a teenager. I have been trying to find a web page or someone on the internet that has been groomed and then gone into a long term relationship and had kids by them. Please help its doing my head in.'
I am a little confused by your story , is the person you moved in with when you were 14 the same person that groomed you and had children with you? And how old are you now? It maybe easier for you to talk about this on the phone if you would like to do this call 01872 262100.
'im 20 and since i was 10 i have been sexually abused by my stepfater, and as i got older he made me swear not to go there any other guys but him, i had to promise to be faithful to him only, he would have sex with me and i had no choice but to pretend to enjoy it and i wish it never happened, he made out that it was ok and that he was allowed. i an now in a reltionship and he has found out and my mum has told me that he is very upset, but i cant tell her why as he is upset as i broke my promise to him about being"faithful" to him and him only. i dont know what to do, i dont know if to say something to mum or what. im so happy now with my boyfriend, im scared ifi tell someone i will be made out as the bad person.'
It is up to you whether you tell your mother or somebody else, your stepfather has been grooming and sexually abusing you for a long time. You say your are scared that if you tell you will be made out to be a bad person. You are not a bad person and you were only 10 when he started abusing you. The only person in the wrong is him and he is still trying to control your life. You say that you are happy now with your boyfriend which is a really positive thing. If you feel you would like to talk about this you can either book an appointment to see a counsellor if you live in Cornwall or telephone on 01872 262100. You may find with some counselling you will decide whether you want to tell your mum or anyone like the Police.Take lots of care and look after yourself.
'Having lost my counsellor last year I went on by myself to report my abuser with no support. It was a lengthy case and he got 12yrs. I thought I would feel better without his constant threat but I don't and don't know how to deal with everything that is left in my head. I want to get rid of it and don't know how. It is so hard and it's with me everyday - will I ever be rid of him?'
You have been very courageous going through all of that on your own, it sounds as if you could do with some more counselling to work through your feelings. I cannot answer whether you will ever be rid of him but in time your negative thoughts and feelings should get less and less. If you live in Cornwall call 01872 262100 and we can arrange for another counsellor if that is what you decide to do. Take care.
'i said no during sex, he said we hadnt had sex for ages and carried on, i didnt say anything else or push him away but is this still classed as rape.'
The fact that you said "no"during sex and he carried on, then yes this is rape. What is important is how you feel about what happened, if you would like to speak to someone about it please ring on 01872 262100 and we will get back to you if you leave your number. Take care.
'I am 15, and I feel I have been sexually abused at school by my ex-boyfriend who is 14. If I wold someone, would my parents have to know?'
It is difficult to give you a straight answer about whether your parents will be told or not if you tell someone. It will depend on what you tell them and what needs to be done. It may be a good idea to go to your Child Protection teacher at school.
'i had sex with my sister when i was around six or seven ,. was i in the wrong? what is the time between the age ? my sister say we were just play doctor or fell each other out '
Without knowing the age of your sister and more details it is difficult to say very much. If you would like to explain a bit more that would be ok, or you could call ChildLine on 0800 1111 and talk it through with them if you prefer to speak to someone.
'i need help with my 16 yr old daughter, who was sexually asulted last march, police were involved she has had 10 sessions with a social services counsellor, but she is still very angry and cannot contain this anger, i need help for her, and i dont know where to go or what to do, can you help'
I'm sorry to hear your daughter is having problems with her anger. If she would like to speak to one of our counsellors she may decide that she would like more counselling, which if she lives in Cornwall we can provide. If you would like to have a chat through this as well please ring 01872 262100. We are in the office on Mondays and Tuesdays.
'If you have told someone but you feel you have done the wrong what should i do ?'
I am sure you felt what you did was "right" at the time you did it. Without a little bit more information it is difficult to suggest what you should do now. Please talk to us again with a bit more information and we will try to help you.
'What should you do if you feel you have been raped and keep having flashbacks of what happend when you were young?'
It sounds as if it would help if you spoke to somebody who is specially trained in this area. You may find by talking to someone you are able to sort through some of your thoughts and feelings and help with your flashbacks. You can find agencies to help online depending where you live, if you live in Cornwall you can call 01872 262100.
'I was raped 9 years ago. For a while i felt guilty and like it wasnt rape. I tried to push him off me and fought him i kept saying no. I finally gave in and it felt good. This is why i never reported him. I feel like it was mt fault. My new boyfriend said It wasnt rape because i enjoyed it. I waas told no means no. Is this normal or common?'
If you said "No" to this person and he continued then yes that is rape. I think the most important thing for you is how you feel about it now and whether you need to talk things through with someone. You may find by speaking to somebody who is specially trained you are able to work through your thoughts and feelings about what happened, and then be able to move on.
'if i have been groomed, but i really don't want to tell anyone what can i do?'
I think the fact that you have recognised that you have been groomed is a good place to start helping yourself. You could contact Childline on 0800 1111 and talk to them without giving your name, they may be able to help you decide what to do next. You could look up information on grooming online and see if you can get some help. You have been really brave making contact I hope that you get the support you need.
'My best friend went to her ex boyfriends last night hoping to get back together with him. when she got there her ex's cousin was there too, and they both took turns sleeping with her. My best friend was too afraid to say no because of the violent temper he had and the fact that there was two of them there. is this considered rape or the fact that she never said no make it not. She willingly had sex with her ex though but when it came to his cousin she tried to push him off her but it was no use . Her ex just sat her as this was going on. All i need to know is this considered rape and if so how should i urge my friend to get help and to tell her family. please help me.'
As far as your friend is concerned, it sounds from what you have said that she was raped. If she did not want to have sex and the man continued then this is rape. The most important thing is how you friend is feeling, if she could speak to someone about what happened this will hopefully help her. Your friend may be experiencing all kinds of feelings at the moment(or no feelings at all). She is lucky to have you as a friend and may not want to tell her family right now, if at all.She may want to tell the Police or may decide that she doesn't want to. If you can just be there for her for now then that is the best thing for her. If you or your friend would like to speak to someone call 01872 262100.Take care.
'I was sexualy abused from the age of 8 untill I was 12. My abuser was a man that was staying with my family. I am now 20 years old and have never told any body. If I was to talk to the police now, would they care? Could they do anything after such a long time?
Im tired of suffering alone.'
I think it may be a good idea if you do speak to the Police about your case, they will be able to give you a better idea as to whether they can do anything. I can only hope that they would care!Have you considered talking to someone such as a counsellor? If you have some counselling you can discuss with your counsellor the best way forward for you and you may not feel so alone. Take care.
'hi im 20 years old and was raped 4 years ago.my family know what happened but everyone thinks that i have forgotton about it but over the past year it always seems to be in my head.I rang the center and they said that there was a 4 month waiting list will they contact me when there is a space for me or do i have to phone again thank you'
I can only apologise to you for having to wait for counselling , someone will contact you as soon as a counsellor is available. In the meantime you can make contact by phone or e mail: help@crasac.co.uk if you so wish.
'Hi, I'm a 16 year male and two years ago I was villently raped by a stranger, I've only recantly told somone and that was a really close male freind of mine, I then saw the man who raped me for the 1st time since it happened at my local asda and he saw me and smiled, its really turned my life upside down, It's been keeping me up at night, when I do eventually get to sleep I re live what happened and its making me angry with everyone, I've told my college tutor who has been really really usefull and nice to me as well as my freind and I've now got a councilla.
If I went to the police would they get hold of my perents? I've got a scare that he left would they need to see that?
Thank you for helping me. '
If you went to the Police then your parents would need to know because you are under 18 . As for your scar, that would be up to you to share that information or not. It may be a good idea to discuss all of your thoughts and feelings with your counsellor and they will be able to help you decide what you want to do.I know it can be hard to talk about what happened and how you feel, but it will help you and hopefully help reduce your flashbacks and enable you to sleep.Some people keep things bottled up for many years, you have been really brave to tell someone and you will be able to work through this in your counselling and move on with your life.
'what do you do at the center. what happens if you cant talk about being raped.will the pain go away if i tried to get on with things because sometimes i have good days but then i will have a really bad week. i dont like the thought of having counsellings. is there anything else that i can do'
We offer face to face counselling at the Centre, we can also speak to people over the telephone if they prefer to begin with. Alternatively you could e -mail the Centre on help@crasac.co.uk and make contact that way first, which in time, may enable you to feel more comfortable to speak to someone.
'i was raped more than 3 years ago. i cant concentrate at work and people just think im being silly as in young. i tried councelling in the past but it was with a man and i ended up leaving.im having regular panic attacts and nightmares and dont no how 2 make it go away.
I am wondering if you had counselling again, but with a female counsellor, it sounds as if you are still having a difficult time and may benefit from talking it through and finding coping strategies for your panic attacks.
Question: 'i cant say the 4 letter word that happened to me. i was 16 when it happenrd and 4 years on im still hurting '
I am sorry you are still hurting and know that sometimes it can take a long time to feel better. If you would like to talk about how you feel please ring 01872 262100 on a Monday or Tuesday. Take care.
Question:'how can i contact you about counselling?"
If you would like counselling and you live in Cornwall call 01872 262100. If you live outside Cornwall we can help you locate a counsellor in your area.
Question: "I am 27 and married. My husband and I have never had sex as I am terrified of sex or intimacy. I suffered from physical abuse when growing up and think I may have suffered sexual abuse when I was very young, but I don't remember. Would I remember if I was sexual abused and what can I do to help my husband and myself move forward? Thanks.'
I think the answer to whether you may remember or not if you were sexually abused is one that cannot be predicted, you may or may not . This can be difficult to live with as you may have to accept that you may never know. Have you ever considered talking to someone such as a counsellor? If you did start speaking to someone about your abuse as a child you could explore the possibilities and hopefully gain a clearer understanding so that you can move forward.Another option if your husband agrees would be to go to "Relate" to see if you can have couple counselling. If you would like to talk this through please telephone 01872 262100. Take care .
Question:'I have been married for years but last night during a really bad argument my husband raped me. I don't know what to do or how to feel.'
If you would like to ring the Centre on 01872 262100 you can speak to a counsellor and talk things through with someone who will understand what you have been through. It is ok to remain anonymous if you so wish.
Question:'I have been raped and abused by my father since I was a child. I am older now and he is still raping me on a regular basis and I have just found out that I'm pregnant with his child. I don't know what to do or who to turn to. I just want it all to be over.'
Is there anyone that you could/would talk to? I really do feel that you would benefit in speaking to someone to give you some support. You could ring us at the Centre on 01872 262100 and if you live in Cornwall we can arrange for you to see a counsellor, or you can just telephone us and remain anonymous if that helps you.
Question: "I'm scared to tell my counsellor that I have been raped again recently. I'm worried that I'll be made to go to the police. I've tried to go to the police before but found the whole experience terrifying and humiliating and don't feel that I'm strong enough. Should I be honest or not?"
Your counsellor is not there to judge you, but to help you find ways of looking after yourself and keeping yourself safe. I don't know how old you are but if you are under 18 then your counsellor may have to share this information with the police or social services. If you are over 18 then it really is up to you whether you tell the police or not.
Question: "Do you help survivors who have had previous counselling? I have seen several counsellors all through my G.P but have never come to an actual survivors group."
Yes we do see people that have had previous counselling. We are due to begin a survivors group shortly if you are interested telephone 01872 262100.
Question: 'I was sexually abused as a child by my father and his friends,then on later occasions by several other people.....i've also been raped and assaulted as an adult.I feel guilty,dirty.like there's something wrong with me.I've got a really good counsellor,but i feel guilty when i try to tell her stuff,i can't find the words...and then i feel so messed up afterwards.I feel ashamed for needing support,for not just being ok....even though i'm an adult now i feel like a little kid,scared and alone.Don't know how to make this better,i'm trying so hard but it hurts so much.'
I am so sorry that you are in such pain , it sounds as if you are really trying hard to work through your feelings which is bound to be painful after everything that has happened to you. Have you tried to talk to your counsellor about why you feel guilty when you tell her things? You also say that you feel ashamed for needing support , it is no crime to need help sometimes, especially when there are people like your counsellor who are there for you, to support you . The process of healing can take a long time but gradually the pain will get less and less , keep going and take care.
Question; 'What would happen to me if i was raped?"
All the information that you need should be on the visioncornwall website, if you cannot find what you are looking for then please write again.
Question ;"'how do you know if you have been raped when you have been under the influence of drugs or drink?"
I think the first thing to do if you are at all worried that you have been raped is to go to your doctor or the GUM clinic at Treliske.( 01872 255044)if you live in Cornwall.. If it has happened recently they may be able to do some tests for you. Also if there is a chance you could be pregnant then you need to talk to someone about that too. If you were under the influence of drugs and alcohol and you can't remember what happened then it might be hard to find out exactly what did happen. If you are worried and would like to talk to someone about some of your concerns then you could ring 01872 262100 or Childline 0800 1111. I hope you feel able to get some help. Take care
Question:'I was 15 when my sisters husband who was 22 or 23 started coming on to me I had a big crush on him and he kissed me and i kissed back I feel like he told lies to me about my sister and made me feel sorry for him, he told me things that made me feel good about myself, he had sex with me i did nothing the second time he did it i said no but i didn't fight back I hate to say this but at the time it felt good, but then it didn't I finally told my parents and my sister did not believe me and has not spoken to me since that was 11 years ago I feel like i was to blame but i was still a child and very easily influnced i feel like he took advantage of my innocents, but i dont know if I was raped, Please help me, Was it my fault or was I raped, I was always the bad child and my sister could do no wrong she is 5 years older had the good grades and looks i was jealous of her, but i feel so bad about everything now that I am an adult.'
The fact that you were only 15 and he was 22 means that according to the law you were raped.Even if you consented or didn't say No it is still rape.The fact that your sister did not believe you must have been very hard for you but perhaps she didn't want to believe you in order to protect her relationship.I am wondering if you would benefit from some counselling, you could either go to your GP and ask to see a counsellor or find a private one online.Or if you are in Cornwall phone 01872 262100.
Question :'im 15 and I really could do with some help/advice, im too scared to tell my mum because i think she will be ashamed of me. i dont want the police or social services involved because his family and mine are close!!'
If this is something that is happening to you now then you could try to tell someone you trust, is there a family friend or teacher that you could talk to? I understand that it is difficult to speak to your mum but if you are at risk of being harmed then there are ways in which people can help you.If you want to speak on the phone to a counsellor you could telephone 01872 262100 or phone Chidline on 0800 1111.If you don't give your name then you can talk through your situation and get some advice. I hope you get the help you need. Take care .
Question :'I havn't been raped, but sexually assulted. if I tell "you" do you still need to get Social Services involved? I'm really scared...!'
I understand that you are scared, you don't say how old you are. If you are under 16 then Social Services may have to be involved especially if you are still at risk of being harmed again. If you want to talk this through with someone you could ring ChildLine on 0800 1111 if you don't give them your name they can't tell anyone, but they can help you decide what to do.
I posted a message
a while ago about being raped by more than one person and you said I could
write again. I am eighteen now and I was raped by several men at the same
time on several occasions. I see them all on a regular basis and I'm finding
it really hard. I hate myself for letting it happen. How can I have been
so stupid? I don't want anybody to know about it. I can't talk about it.
It is too humiliating. I'm scared.
I know you say you are scared and feel that it would be too humilitating to
speak to someone but if you are in Cornwall you could contact us on 01872
262100. Our counsellors are all specially trained in these issues that you
have suffered and would be able to listen and help you without judging you
about what happened. You don't have to go into any details about what
happened, you can say as little or as much as you like. The counsellor would
concentrate on how you are feeling and help you work through your traumatic
experience. I am concerned for you that you still have to see these people
is there any way you could avoid this? Try and remember it was not your
fault and that you can work through this if you want to with a counsellor.
If you live outside Cornwall there are agencies like the Cornwall Rape And
Sexual Abuse Centre all over England. If you do ring and you get an
answerphone please just leave a name and number and someone will get back to
you. If it all feels too hard then please feel free to keep writing to the
message board.
My boyfriend was
badly beaten & raped when he was in his late teens. I am one of only two
people who know this. He has kept it inside for 10 years & lately has
been trying to track this guy down. I am petrified about what might happen
when he finds him. He's already been a victim once!
What can I do?
Do you think your boyfriend
would talk to someone about what happened to him 10 years ago ? The fact
that he wants to find the abuser now shows that he still has a lot of
feelings about what happened. If he could manage to talk to a counsellor
about how he feels, he then might choose to track the abuser down by going
to the police. I know it is difficult for you, but it is good that he
has told you. Other than try to get your boyfriend to speak to someone
about it there is not much more you can do.
What should I do if I have been raped by more than one person?
I must be really disgusting and hateful for more than one to do it. It must have been something I did and I will never forgive myself for that.
I just want to disappear. No-one will believe me. How can I face seeing them again?
I am sorry that this has happened to you . I don't know how old you are and
am unclear from your message if you were raped by more than one person at
the same time or you have been raped several times on different occasions.
Whatever way it was not your fault and it was nothing about you being a
disgusting person. People rape people to gain power and control not because
of something you did. Please try not to be too hard on yourself, you have
gone through a very traumatic time and you need to be kind to yourself. As
hard as it is, I would try and talk to someone you trust about what has
happened. As far as having to face these people: if they are known to you
then you must try and protect yourself either by telling someone or by
avoiding places where you might see them. It is hard to give more advice at
this stage without knowing your age and the situation. Please write again if
you feel you cannot tell anyone yet. You have been really brave to make this
contact.
Something
is happening to me at home and I feel too scared to tell anyone. What
can I do?
Try and think
of someone that you can trust. This might be someone at school or a friend's
mum, and tell them what is troubling you. If that feels too frightening,
perhaps you could write it down in a letter and give it to someone. I
know it is hard and it's really good that you have asked this question,
but it sounds like you could do with some help. Be brave and speak out.
I got drunk on the weekend and I had sex with someone, but I don't really
remember what happened.
I feel really bad and dirty. What should I do?
The
first thing you need to do is go to a young people's clinic or your doctor
and ask for some tests. There may be a chance that you are pregnant. They
will also check you for sexually transmitted infections. The next thing
to do is tell someone what happened, either your parents / doctor / friend
and they can then get you some more help.
Is it only alcoholic drinks that can get spiked?
No, any drink can be spiked. In fact, the
drugs that are used can be put into food or into cigarettes.